How to choose a gift for your parents in Pakistan: the four parts of a gift they'll remember

A gift your parents will still talk about months later usually has four parts: something for the day itself, something they'll keep or use, a few lines in your own words, and a moment you share when it arrives. You don't need a big budget for all four. You just need to think about each one.

Here's how to choose each part, with examples for Ammi and Abbu, and the mistakes to avoid.

Part 1: something for the day

This is what makes the day feel like an occasion, even when you're far away. It's usually something to share with whoever is at home:

• A cake, delivered in the morning, with their name on it.
• Fresh flowers, in a colour they like.
• Mithai, chocolates or dry fruit, for the visitors who drop in.

It doesn't need to be expensive. It needs to arrive on the right day. If your parent is diabetic or watching sugar, a sugar-free cake or a fruit basket works just as well.

Part 2: something to keep

The cake is gone by evening. The part they'll point to later, and say "my son sent this" or "my daughter sent this", is the thing that lasts. Start with what they're like, not what's in fashion:

• The one who loves their home: embroidered cushions, a table runner, or calligraphy for the wall.
• The host: a new tea set, serving bowls, or a dry fruit tray for guests.
• The one who dresses well: a shawl, unstitched fabric from a brand they like, or a watch.
• The one who finds peace in prayer: a soft prayer mat, a tasbeeh and attar, or a Quran with a beautiful cover.
• The gardener: potted plants, glazed pots, or a jasmine for the front of the house.

A tip on sizes: unstitched fabric, accessories or a voucher are safer than ready-to-wear. Your mother will have it tailored exactly how she likes.

A tip on choosing: ask a sibling or cousin who sees them often what's worn out, or what they've mentioned more than once. Parents rarely ask for anything, but they often hint.

Part 3: your words

This is the part that gets read twice, then kept in a drawer. Two to four lines are enough:

1. Greet them the way you would on the phone: "Ammi Jaan", "Abbu".
2. Say one specific thing: a memory, a habit, something you miss.
3. Close warmly, with a dua or a promise to see them soon.

For example: "Happy birthday, Abbu. I still check the oil in the car the way you taught me. See you in December, in sha Allah."

Write it in the language you speak together. Roman Urdu is perfectly fine. Our list of gift card messages in English and Urdu has more examples.

Part 4: the moment

The gift arriving is a moment, and you can be part of it from anywhere:

• Plan a video call for when it arrives, so you see their face as they open it.
• Ask someone at home to send you a photo, so you see what it looked like when it arrived.
• Send a voice note the night before, so it's the first thing they hear.

Check the time difference first. A Pakistani morning delivery is the middle of the night in North America.

Putting it together: two examples

For Ammi's birthday: a fresh cake in the morning, a soft prayer mat she'll use every day, "Happy birthday, Ammi! I miss your chai and your advice, in that order", and a video call at 11am her time.

For Abbu, just because: a box of his favourite mithai, a warm shawl for winter evenings, "No reason, Abbu. Just missing you", and a photo of him wearing it.

Mistakes to avoid

• Choosing for yourself. A gadget they won't use, or a style they'd never wear, ends up in a cupboard.
• Sending only money. It's useful, but a gift they can hold and show people says more. If you do send money, add a small gift and a card.
• Forgetting the card. It's the cheapest part, and often the most remembered.
• Leaving it to the last day, especially near Eid, when bakers and riders are fully booked.

Build one in four taps

Not sure where to start? Our gift builder asks who it's for, the occasion, what they're like and your budget, then puts the four parts together for you, ready to send.

Build a gift in four taps →